Mostly because it seems like a more mobile tech thing and I’m too cheap to use my cell phone for such things, I haven’t felt the desire to sign up for Twitter (that’s another one you can use as a verb, like google, right? to twitter?) I came across this blog entry (partially about the phenomenon of microblogging) a few days ago; it made me think about where I do microblog: Facebook. This (and a desire to write about something digital discourse-y) made me wonder what my Facebook status updates would look like as a (mostly) continuous narrative. This is that (mostly) continuous narrative.

Brief analysis: For the most part, Facebook status updates seem–at least in my case–to be an exercise in subtext, allusion, and connotation rather than direct statement. Perhaps unsurprisingly, many of these are meaningless when stripped from their contexts. I’ve sorted them thematically for your reading pleasure. You can see the whole unarranged thing in this document. (Warning: stream-of-consciousness!)

Web of Lies: On Facebook, Blogging, and The Internet

Chris is figuring out this stupid facebook thing. The dark side is evil. Chris is resisting the impulse to work. Chris is feeling empathy for his students, as he would rather fool around with facebook than be productive in teh classroom. Chris is bored and should step away from the facebook. Chris is being wordy. Chris is watching television, checking email, reading a book, and facebooking all at the same time. Sorta. Chris is sad that people he knows are actually joining the live dogs as shark bait group. Do a little research, people. Chris is glad to have mastery over dumb software. Chris is blogtrolling. Chris is blogging. Chris is vacillating between real productivity and the internet. Chris is looking at facebook while he waits for coffee. Chris is BLARG! Chris is at work, grading, blogging, coughing, and drinking copious amounts of coffee. Chris is metablogging.

Words, Words, Words: On Reading Student Essays

Chris is grading, grading, always grading. Chris is grading, like he promised. Chris is allowing his dissolved brain to reform. Chris is back to responding to papers. Fun. Chris has finished another pile of papers! Huzzah! Chris is reading student papers. Woot. Chris is grading. ugh. Chris is argh. Chris is grading. At night. At home. Because it never ends. Chris is done teaching for the day. Now it’s time to grade. Chris is finished grading. Next up? More papers to grade. Sigh. Chris is grading papers. Big surprise, right? Chris is having trouble retaining his faith in the abilities of college students to do much of anything. Chris finished grading this “pile” of papers (they’re digital, so they’re not literally a pile). He hopes that the hours spent commenting on them won’t go to waste. Chris is trying to get mentally prepped for the 50 (or so) papers he’s getting over Monday and Tuesday. Chris is setting himself against the deluge of papers. Chris is disappointed. Chris is feeling some better. Some. Chris is making some headway on these “essays.” Chris is grrrrrrrrrading. Chris is finished with the first final. Now it’s grading term papers for the rest of the day. Chris is graideing awaiy.

Workin’ 9 to 5: On Work, School, and Coffee

Chris is hungry for some woodchuck. Chris is going to PhD it at Texas Tech!! Chris is ecstatic about his acceptance to Texas Tech’s PhD program! Chris is glad his classes are done for the day. Chris is enjoying a pot of coffee. Chris is checking out his eRaider account. Chris is contemplating Frederick Douglass’ Narrative of the Life. Chris is sucking down copious amounts of javajavajavajava. Chris wants his ___________ to pull their _____ out of their _______. (Have fun! Fill in the blank!) Chris has got the Fridays. Chris REALLY doesn’t want to work tomorrow (or tonight, for that matter). Chris is reading My Kinsman, Major Molineux.” Chris is inhaling Star Wars novels quickly before he starts at Tech. Chris is sweating at his desk because they’ve turned the air off already… Chris is gearing up for Hawthorne. Chris is workin’ for the weekend. Chris is Monday morning-ing. Chris is thinking about registration next semester. Chris is prepping for class. Chris is done teaching his theory class. Diagnostic Reading and Error Analysis are fun. . Chris is reading Benito Cereno. Chris is a coffee-drinking fool. Chris is doing paperless paperwork. Chris is done filling out a FAFSA. Woot. Chris has high hopes for tomorrow Chris is reading Melville at 6 AM. Chris is still reading Melville at 8:30 AM. Chris is done with Melville and on to other things. Chris is ready for the stupid break already. Jeez. Chris is prepping more Melville. Just can’t get enough of this dude! ). Chris is DONE! Hooray for a short break and then the dash to the finish-line. Chris sees a sight beyond all pictures and poems ever made. Chris will stop for no expostulation. Chris is giving his students a walk. Chris wants to walk around spouting Whitman all day. Chris is sitting down to read “They Say/I Say: The Moves that Matter in Academic Writing.” Chris is VERY glad it’s THIS Friday. Chris is done teaching. Chris is writing a test. Wonder how evil I should be? Chris wrote a moderately evil test. Depends on how much studying took place. Chris is gonna give a test today, a test today, a test today. Gonna give a test today, to see if they have learned. Chris is done with another semester of 3383 Chris just got an ugly note from an unhappy student. Chris is grading some American Literature exams. Chris is finished with American Lit. Some pretty good grades in here…

Three’s Company: On Family Time

Chris swaddled the baby and is off daddy-duty for the night. Chris is so. Tired. Of. Getting. Up. At. 3 am. Chris is hanging with Adalaide all day! Chris is back from Tipi Village. Adalaide was less than impressed. Chris likes fires. Chris is in need of babysitters for Friday… Chris is basking in the glow of having pulled off one of his smoothest bedtimes yet. Chris is at home with his girls. All is good. Chris put the baby to bed and is getting geared up for the dishes. Chris is finally home. Yay. Chris is organizing/storing/cleaning. Chris is hangin’. Chris is having some quality drooling time with his daughter. Chris is in OOOOOOOOOklahoma. Chris is wishing you a happy thanksgiving. Now where’s the stuffing? Chris ate a lot of stuffing. Hellz yeah. Chris has got the meat sweats. Chris got the squirt down for a nap. Finally. Chris is a little worried about the dog. Chris is happy to be going home. Chris is home again, home again, rum-tum-tum. Chris is finished putting up the tree. Chris prepared for this whole Ferber method thing, but it’s been anticlimactic so f
ar… Chris needs a babysitter. Chris is home from a progressive dinner with our church’s youth group. Chris has eaten an horrifying amount of lasagna in the last few days. (Burp.) Chris had a VERY rough evening with Adalaide tonight.

Rage Against the Machine: On Politics and Current Events

Chris is tired of divisive politics. (and thinks everyone should think like he does.) Chris is audacious. Chris voted. Have you voted? Go vote. You should vote; it’s fun! Please vote (for Barack). Chris is happy if you voted for anyone, but REALLY happy if you voted for Barack. Chris has decided to not waste his time keeping up with early returns. I’ll just wait ’til later. Chris is: a) glad he stayed up for Barack Obama’s speech last night; and b) feeling a way he’s never felt before about a presidential election. Chris is back to business as usual. Almost. Chris is glad to hear they’re getting a handle on things in Mumbai.

Leftovers: Books, Life, Television, and Other Unsorted Events

Chris got all theological and stuff. Chris is trying to figure out what parts of homecoming he’s going to be interested in this year. Chris is posting his cell number here for those who wish to call him up during homecoming. Chris enjoyed catching up with so many awesome Brothers at the MAKONA reunion tonight. Chris is sleepy. Chris is all, so, you know, like, whatever, right? Chris is full of piss and vinegar. Chris is decompressing. Chris is sinking his teeth into one of the most challenging books he’s read in a long time. Chris is up and at ’em. Chris is watching 30Rock (season two) on DVD. Chris is watching Two and a Half Men. Chris is on the prowl. Chris is so metal. Chris prefers not to. Chris just approved spending approximately $30,000. Chris is up. Chris thinks Johnny Depp is amusing. Chris is home from a long day of churchgoing (Charge conference today. Chris FINALLY finished Blood Meridian! Chris is going to buy stuff. Up with capitalism. Chris supported his local book megastore. Chris watched “How I Met Your Mother” on DVD and is now going to bed early on a Friday night like the sad, sad old man he is. Chris is doin’ stuff.


6 thoughts on “Microblogging

  1. I’ll also mention that it took a couple of hours to collect and put together, so be ready! (That includes a frustrating hour or so on a wednesday night that ended with me nearly giving up on the whole idea because facebook wasn’t cooperating).

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